You're absolutely right that it should be her call. It's about our wives, not us. I fantasize that my wife has done this, and she comes home and lets me eat her out and denies me my own orgasm. I love her!
That is one wonderful wife with one lucky husband. I was so glad she let him eat her out after. My opinion is that she should have denied him an orgasm and just taken all the pleasure herself. But it was still HOTTER than HELL!